Thursday, January 3, 2008

The Night that the Lights Went Out in Georgia...

When your power goes out, there are a few key things you need to remember to do:

1) Reassure the turtles that everything will be alright and that you will not let their water freeze over.

2) Find the emergency candles. Okay, or the smelly good ones work too and they still smell good even when the temperature in the apartment drops below freezing.

3) Find the power bill...it just came a few days ago. (fast forward to #4) And even though you are POSITIVE it is not past due, double check just in case, then call the after hours number and wait for Frank The Technician to call you back.

4) Where is the flashlight?! Careful not to stub your toe in the dark as you feel your way into the bedroom to the top drawer of the dresser. Ooops, don't forget you moved your dresser to the OTHER side of the bed this past weekend. (nOTe to SeLF: change batteries in the flashlight soon, the soft glow isn't really doing much for that whole light in the darkness ditti).

5) Go back to the kitchen where you were fixing dinner when the power went out and turn off the burners and the oven. Drain the noodles and go ahead and finish making Tuna Casserole, Frank may be a minute.

6) When Frank calls and tells you to go out to the breaker box OUTSIDE...put on the scarf and gloves along with the coat...it is BloODy cOLd out there! And go ahead and take a stool/chair/ladder/phone book...who knows how high on the wall your apartments breaker box is located.

7) When Frank tells you to look for the one that is "not spinning" - ignore him and don't waste your time freezing your tush off...yours is the brand new digital one. You can also ignore him when he says to look for the one with the switch turned in the "OFF" direction...because they all have DOORS! And you will likely bust the crap out of your fingers if you try to open all of them. Besides, your switch won't be in the OFF position...flip it anyway!

8) Don't waste your time walking to the back to see if your lights came on...you will not be able to tell if they are on from the ground, instead RUN, do not walk, up the stairs to your apartment.

9) Thank Frank graciously for staying on the telephone with you and walking you through the trauma drama and assure him your power is indeed back on and he can get back to Mrs. Frank.

10) Check the turtles.

11) Don't accidentally call Frank back when you mean to call Kelly to tell her you are on your way over and you will not need the impromptu slumber party! the power is BaCk oN!

Who knew there were more breakers than those hiding behind the ugly metal box on the wall behind the bedroom door?

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