Being Single Bites: Reason #2

For the last few years I have contemplated, dreaded and dreamed of buying a new mattress. I think the straw that broke the camel’s back was the accident; you remember…the one where the TOW truck rammed into the back of me as I was stopped in a long line of vehicles while someone ahead of us turned. Turrets…sorry, back on track now: Since then, the constant pain from the injuries along with stress from _______ (fill in the blank, anything applies) has really had me in knots when I sleep and I guess even not when I sleep.

So anyway, back to the whole reason for the post; reason #2 that Being Single Bites: I finally decided it was time I bought a new mattress. I did a little research and decided that Mattress Firm was where I would spend my hard earned dough! Technically (2 YEARS!) after the accident I received a settlement check, part of which I tucked away, just for something like this…so very fitting that I spend part of my settlement money on a new mattress for my ‘never going to be back to normal’ back.

I went to the store once and left after a brisk walk around the showroom and a realization that I would be the 4th person in line. After that I decided it would be in my best interest to call the store and take care of all the fluff over the phone. Which I did. Basically I told the guy, I only have $3.00 to spend, what are my choices. He told me what I needed to know, and I told him I would be in the next night.

This is where I get to the point. I went into the store, where Jezebel (name has been changed to protect the guilty) gets my two second explanation to which she walks me back to said mattress and asks “what size mattress do you need?” To which I reply “a king.” She looked at me (standing alone in the store) with her head cocked a little to the side and asks “do you have a sleeping partner?” To which I replied “nope, just me”.

At this point I am a little confused – did I not get the memo!?! Because I am single and do not have a “sleeping partner” am I only allowed to own a twin bed or maybe if I am lucky, a double…?! But isn’t that a contradiction too? If I slept in a twin, would I not have to be a twin and if I slept in a double, would I not have to be one of two? Sure they would give a lot more space in my bedroom…

I was in this deep debate with myself when I realized Jezebel had just told me that queen mattresses where less expensive than king mattresses and if I had a budget I could buy a better mattress for my budget if I were to buy a queen. To which I replied “yes, I understand that, however I actually own a king size bed. Don’t you think that would look odd with a queen size mattress?” Jezebel agreed and reached for the mattress we had been discussing…but don’t think she didn’t mention to me one more time that a queen would be less expensive. “yes, and if I had bought the queen size sleigh bed almost 8 years ago, instead of the king…then I would be in much better shape, wouldn’t I? But I love my bed, and I love that I can stretch from corner to corner and not touch either edge, so can we just get on with this, please!!”

Back in my deep thought I realized…I couldn’t buy a queen mattress if I wanted to, don’t you have to be married to a king to be a queen?!? But then again, I own a king size bed and mattress and I am certainly not a king.

So what size mattress does a person have permission to buy, if that person is single?